Archive | January, 2012

Why did English Tsai lose the election?

17 Jan

I must admit, Apple Daily never ceases to amuse me with its cartoonish depictions of real life.

That’s the big question right now. Everyone wants to know. Was it her lack of a clear China policy? Was she not strong enough on the economy?

Well, I’ll tell ya what. I knew she wasn’t going to win.

How did I know, you ask? Simple.

I went out to lunch on election day here in Tainan. I was craving a burger, so I stopped by this little shop near the university. And, what, praytell, did I see transpire?

This.

Really? Gloves?

People wearing plastic gloves to eat burgers and fries. Shocking.

I kind of felt it, deep down, right then. Like, this is not a good sign for Taiwan. Here it is 2012, and everyone is trying to ignore the looming apocalypse, and then you got these nutters.

And it wasn’t just this couple. Oh, no. The whole shop. Everyone. They were given me the big eye for refusing to put mine on. I still don’t get it. You don’t see people doing this at McDonald’s. There was a bathroom. So, what, was the meat radioactive or something? What were the gloves going to really do here?

For shame, Taiwan. For shame.

 

Latest, greatest(?) cure for back pain

11 Jan

A lot to take note of in these TCM shops.

In my ongoing effort to reverse the seemingly oncoming paralysis of my lower back, I once again ventured forth into the surreal realm of Taiwan’s Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM).

Yes, that may be my first mistake.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that I think this whole ordeal stems from when I had a backache in Beijing and proceeded to find some shoddy acupuncturist, who, though at a hospital, hospitalized me.

But, ya know, growing up as an American without health insurance, I basically try to stay out of hospitals unless they strap me into the back of an ambulance and knock me out with morphine. So, once again, I’m rolling the dice with TCM.

My snap-crackle-pop treatment by the monk in the shack on the outskirts of the county is yet to produce the type of 100% healing I’d hoped for. Hell, I’d settle for 85%, but it just hasn’t happened. It helps, a lot, but a week after each visit I’m right back where I started.

So, today, on the advice of a coworker who’s husband frequents this shop, I set out to find a new cure. Now she had initially said something about acupuncture, so that’s what I was looking for as I drove down this local road. Turn out, I was wrong. I walked into some acupuncture clinic and asked the nurse to double check the address, but the place I was looking for was down the street.

I knew it when I saw it. It was one of those pungent, closet-like storefronts with a bunch of unmarked bottles and strange bags of “medicine” everywhere. All of these places are kind of the same. A lot of plaques of merit or achievement or potentially degrees, all stamped and framed on top of each other. The TV blaring one of those high-channel get-rich-quick call-in shows. Lots of daily newspapers all piled up. Kind of dinghy walls.

I saw a guy chilling, watching TV, sitting in the traditionally uncomfortable teak chairs, and I decided, hell, let’s go for it…

Steam! That’s what I got. A steaming, with medicine! The steam is meant to relax your muscles, allowing better blood flow in sore areas.

I was a first-timer, but he was gentle. For 250nt, I got to cruise in the back, past the kitchen, and into like a Stephen King-like sauna room. Now, I really had no idea what to expect. Like, was this going to be a full nude thing? Is it like a proper sauna?

No. It wasn’t.

There were a bunch of stools on a concrete floor in front of two hoses protruding from a mystery room in the back. The doctor asked me to sit down and face the TV, which, obviously, was a brand new, top-of-the-line flat screen (Taiwanese always ball-out on TVs) next to a 1960s split-bucket washing machine. He pulled out a couple of towels, told me to pull my shirt up and my pants down a bit– yeah, yeah– then started blasting me with this fragrant, occasionally scalding steam.

When you think doctor's office, is this what you envision?

Afterwards, he took me into the “office” room, where he gave me a quick, amazingly accurate snap of the spine in a couple directions. Then he slapped on  a big TCM patch on my back and told me to keep it on for two days. That kind of shocked me, because most people tell you to take them off after like 4-6 hours less your skin gets all jacked up. But, we’ll see what happens Friday.

Also, for anyone who has never had a huge TCM patch put on, it’s like a massive, more-clothy gauze pad with a mysteriously numbing black paste on one-side. I like the smell, some don’t. It’s taped onto whatever spot, and is the equivalent, at least in my case of removing like 1,000 band-aids when I take it off.

He gave me that and an unmarked bag of those round, deer-turd-looking pills. I’d taken these before in Shanghai for a case of “spicy stomach.” They look identical, but who knows? Trust, is what they call that, folks.

Anyways, I was going to take a pic of the pills and the back patch, but as I was posing in the mirror trying to get a flattering angle, well, I just decided yo can use your visceral imaginations.

I’ll let you know how it works out.

(UPDATE)  I almost forgot one fascinating key aspect: the doctor specifically ordered me not to eat bananas or drink beer. That’s it. Just those two.

62hrs ’til Taiwan’s presidential election: DPP deception!

11 Jan

Wow. Real curve ball, here! It hasn’t shaken my support of the DPP or my faith in Tsai Ying-wen’s (蔡英文) presidential ability, but…

Chen Ting-fei (陳亭妃completely fooled me into thinking she might be cute with this campaign poster!It’s been up for months right outside my apartment, and, ya know, puts a smile on my face every morning on the way to work. Like, look at this team of ladies! Now that’s something I can endorse, beauty and brains! Boom!

Turns out, it’s yet another case of the dreaded “Great campaign photo/Not-so-great Google search” (shaking my head). Nooooo!

I mean, as a citizen of Tainan, she still gets my vote. I haven’t seen any sure-fire Palins rolling out on the KMT ticket, so Chen’s vote is safe with me. Plus, I kinda dig the fact that she used to be in television. It’s as if she took my exact career path, except actually accomplished everything I ever wanted to achieve.

But even after all this, and in true Taiwanese political spirit, I’ll still give her a patented fist-pump!

 

P.S. Does this post totally kill my Taiwanese political credibility???

 

China is so Third World… not.

9 Jan

I mean, I guess it is. If you consider hipsters cruising around on their fixed gears through ten-lane mega-highways rocking their adidas originals third world, then, yeah. Sure.

P.S. This video was made by one of my former colleagues in Shanghai. Awesome job, Jess. Making me feel really uncreative.

Tips on Hiking Yushan (Jade Mountain)

9 Jan

At the peak for sunrise, above the clouds. Top of the world.

Eastern Asia’s highest peak is well worth the effort. In preparing for hiking the mountain this last December, I browsed the net and thought I had a handle on the hike. Still, there were a few things I wish I would have known prior to arriving at the trailhead. So, if you happen to stumble upon this, I hope it helps.

FYI- My friend and I applied for the permit ourselves, online. The two of us hiked the Paiyun trial, starting at the Tataka (Anbu?) trailhead, on December 29-29th.

1. Tataka (塔塔加, really pronounced tǎtǎjiā) is not a township or any type of village. We had read that there was a “hiker’s hostel” in “town.” Well, there is, but it isn’t easy to find. So, yes, just know that Tataka basically consists of a hiker’s information center at the top of a long road. That’s it. Although, I have to say, the people there were awesome when we rolled up well after hours with a bunch of questions. They made some calls for us and got us all sorted out. Keep your eyes out, the guesthouse is right after the helipad on the left as you climb the hill from Alishan. There’s a small little one-lane road that looks like it just drops off the side of the mountain. Follow it down about 300 meters and you’ll come to a building that doesn’t look too special. Boom, you’re there. (If you speak Chinese, call 東埔山莊(宿) 0932832077 or  049-2702213, and you should be able to sort yourself out.)

2. About the hostel: we walked in, and lucky enough, there was basically no one hiking the mountain. It is super simple. There’s a dorm with two long bunks that sleep about 20 per side. There’s a kitchen and bathrooms. The owner doesn’t speak any English, so be prepared for that, too. She’s very kind though, and a straight shooter. She’ll cook you a meal, if she has any food from the market (she didn’t when we were there). It’s pricey, like $150nt for a plate. Otherwise, she has some instant noodles for sale. And no beer. So…

3. Best bet for a hot meal is in Alishan township. I recommend the 姜母鸭 (jiāngmǔyā) restaurant with the purple sign, on the left after 7-11 and just before the sharp corner out of town (sorry, my buddy took the pic and the business card). If you don’t know, 姜母鸭 is a special kind of duck hotpot. Great meal to warm you up. Plus, the owners will likely invite you to share some local wulong tea with them after. They’ve been tea farmers their whole lives, but their village was wiped out during Typhoon Morakot in 2009. They miraculously survived, and have since relocated in an effort to start a new life. They’re also the only place in town open late, til 11.

(UPDATE) Buddy sent me the pic. Didn't do a great job getting the phone number in there, but keep an eye out on the left.

4. For anything else, stock up at the 7-11 in Alishan township. We didn’t, and we ended up driving all the way back, through dense clouds. Luckily, it was well worth it, since we found that restaurant and had a great time with that family.

5. If you don’t stay at the “hiker house,” keep an eye out for the road that says “Do not enter– restricted” on the right just past the helipad. That’s where you enter. If you hike up that hill about 200m, you’ll come to two buildings– one where the police officer checks your permit, and the second where the park ranger sort of double checks it. Whatever.

6. Make sure to arrange a van to take you from the gate by those buildings to the actual trail head. We heard the guys at the gate weren’t very helpful in getting you one, saying you had to “book” one the day before. Just call the same number for the hostel. It seems like they run the whole regime up there, and they have a few guys who drive up every 30 minutes or so (if called). If not, have fun walking 3km uphill on some crappy paved road with no views! That’d be a great way to tire yourself out before even actually beginning the “real” hike.

7. Paiyun Lodge (8.5km in) is still closed. So, the hike is a bit more arduous. You can do it in one day. We met a guy who left at 6:30am and was back at the hiker house by 6:30pm. Personally, I think that’s a total waste. You miss sunrise and sunset, the epic reward for this unbelievable hike!

8. If you don’t do the one-day up-and-back, which, again, I don’t recommend, as of right now you will have to stay in this little A-frame hut at Yuanfong. It’s basic. It’s cold (now). But the real issue is that you have to hike an additional 2.7km to the hut. And it’s a constant ascent. You actually hike almost as high in elevation as the main peak, so it’s similar to doing the entire up in one day. The next day, you will need to hike about 2km back to the fork in the trail, and then another 1.7km straight up to the main peak.

9. We left Yuanfong at about 3:45am and made it to the top of the summit at around 5:15, which was just in time for the sky to show it’s first hint of blue on the black horizon. It was perfect timing. We got to see the entire sunrise, and hiking in the pitch black darkness was a serious rush. It’s a pretty simple cutback trail until about the last 200m when it gets a bit hairy. I couldn’t imagine doing it in snow or ice, even with cramp-ons (which makes some of Mark A. Joy’s videos that much more intense).

10. Even without snow on the ground, it was still freezing at the summit. It felt below zero to me, although I am sure it was just right around there. Taking off my glove to take a picture had to be awful quick. Even with Goretex gloves and handwarmers my fingers weren’t 100% until we were about 400m back down the mountain. Now, we were hiking in December, so keep that in mind. The trail will close down pretty soon, and I think that’s wise. But even if you want to hike it in March, be prepared for some chilly weather. Bring a good sleeping bag, and you’ll want some sort of cooking kit for some hot food. Also, keep in mind you don’t really need the big gaudy hiking boots for this climb. There’s a lot of loose shale, and in my opinion, a good pair of hiking sneakers of cross-trainers will do ya. That said, we had brilliant weather, and I was prepared for a freak rain storm. So keep in mind you probably want waterproof shoes and some snap on gaiters just in case. You’ll see plenty of Taiwanese hiking up there like they are on Everest, even on a clear sunny sky. Damn, they love to gear up.

Anyways, comment  if you have questions. Best of luck on your hike, and hope you have blue skies all the way!

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